So I pull up to a red light the other day and both lanes are occupied by a single car. There's no one immediately behind me in either lane, so I get the option of pulling behind either car. This is, of course, a huge decision. Get behind a slow-ass driver and you kiss like 20-30 seconds of valuable time goodbye. In lane 1 we have a suped up Honda - spoiler, exhaust, all the douchey accessories. Lane 2 is a newer model minivan. I pull up behind the minivan banking on the fact that the soccer mom at the wheel will drive like the rest of SoCal's soccer mom population - like a bat out of fucking hell. The light finally turns green, and the minivan, as I'd hoped, takes off like it was in a drag race. As I pass the Honda, still sitting at the intersection, I see the teenage driver messing with his phone. This almost always works out for me.
When faced with a tougher choice, like between a small SUV and a luxury car or something, I always fuck up and get behind the asshole who accelerates like he has a non-covered cup of coffee in his cupholder. This asshat usually likes to keep it 5 MPH under the posted limit too.
God, I hate driving.
